Looking For Friends? Here's How To Break The Ice
Somewhere out there two strangers are destined to become lifelong friends…that meet through me?
Published
I Think You Two Should Meet is a monthly friend-matchmaking column connecting strangers based on shared interests, values, and personalities. Each installment captures a third-wheel perspective of their first meet-up using each participant’s post-date review.
Want to make a new friend? Submit yourself here!
Wondering something? Email ithinkyoutwoshouldmeet@gmail.com
Way back when, trading ships underwent a maritime dilemma: getting stuck in ice caps. When this happened, smaller ships would come to their rescue having to, you probably guessed it, break the ice. Some of my research concluded this is what led to the idiom’s evolution into its colloquial version we know as relieving the tension in social situations. Other sources beg to differ, citing a 17th century quote by a man that involves breaking ice as a means of bringing comfort to a discussion prior to the invention of ships. Regardless of whether its origin is through a sympathetic nautical gesture, or something I simply couldn’t find on Quora, its usage has most likely paved the way for our most valuable, and invaluable of relationships.
The icebreaker is an adoption of the expression, the hammer, if we’re being both metaphorical and technical, that serves as our intangible tool to lumber our ways to smooth sailing conversation. We all have our methods– some connecting with a shared hatred, others with a shared love, and all with the urge to chisel enough into the uncomfortable and liberate one another from the confines of timidity.
Breaking the ice buys us time, cools us down, and oxymoronically, warms us up. It’s the gentle grunt about the weather being too hot, cold, or wet to a coworker as you walk in, timestamping your entry. It’s the corporate meeting’s inquiry on whether you’re a cat or dog person on your first day to allow you to briefly remember you’re human and as are they. And, it’s the interrogation of what’s your big three?
That warrants at least three more minutes of conversation regardless of whether they know them or not. And certainly, there have been times we’ve been all too quiet– ignoring an opportunity to pose a thought, resulting in a missed connection. In our destined and unscheduled meetings, we collide with our cooperative discomfort in silence.
During this heatwave, don’t sweat the script and break the ice. Below, meet two new pairs of friends who successfully broke the ice.
Set Up #1
Laura + Mia
Things in Common
- morning people
- live in manhattan
- The glass is half full
Reason for Set Up
If Mia could eat the same meals for the rest of her life, she would. I figure it’s a good reason to meet Laura, who tells me she is down with all who can beautify the mundane.
The Set Up Recap:
8 PM at Book Club Bar, East Village
They both show up in maxi skirts and tank tops.
Mia: She got A Gentleman in Moscow Mule and I got the Master & Mezcal Margarita.
Laura: I got a A Gentleman in Moscow Mule and she got Master & Mezcal Margarita.
Memorable literary titled cocktails in hand, the two kindle their connection with coincidence(s).
Mia: We both studied abroad in Italy
Laura: and we both lived in Spain.
Mia: We’re scared of Air Conditioning.
Laura: We don't eat meat.
Mia + Laura: We quit our jobs in PR.
Laura: She lives a block away from the restaurant I work at part-time and has eaten there a few times.
So, it’s not far-fetched.
Laura: I get bagels at the shop below her apartment on the reg.
Small world.
Laura: We really hit it off. We shared some laughs and quick-fire interviewed each other.
Mia: There was so much to talk about!
Laura: I know what her roommates do for work, her dislike for spongy tofu, and the last podcast episode she listened to.
Mia: Her third grade science fair project still haunts her, she’s so over fine dining, and her understanding of love has changed in recent years.
Laura: We learned a lot.
Mia: I learned she had a husband an hour into the hangout.
Laura: The first date nerves were there, but as fuel to our fire.
Mia: We met two guys who were super drunk that kept hyping up their writer friend.
Laura: When one of them takes an impossible to follow tangent, Mia and I share a look that I appreciate– one that says, 'I don't know what's going on here but I'm amused'.
Their new neighbors soon run off to the Bowery Ballroom with an open invitation that Laura and Mia kindly decline; they're having much more fun. Will the two see eachother again without a google cal invite from a girl in Bushwick playing God?
Mia: I hope so!
Laura: We've discussed pizza at Rubirosa or Una Pizza Napoletana. Maybe tapas!
Mia: …a second hang out is much more stressful.
Laura: The first date nerves were there, but as fuel to our fire.
Mia: I think (hope) we will hang out again!
Set Up #2
Cody + Matenia
Things in Common
- mid-20s
- like electronic music
- listen the the angel on their shoulder first
Reason for Setup
I set Cody and Matenia up on a Picnic in Manhattan, unaware of the forecasted drizzle. They make do with Ruffles Sour Cream & Cheddar potato chips, non-alcoholic beers, and without a raincheck.
The Set Up Recap
5 PM at Elevated Acre, FiDi
Cody: I was a bit anxious going into it.
Matenia: This was genuinely like nothing I've done before.
Cody: We got into the groove of the conversation rather quickly and seemed to flow from topic to topic pretty smoothly.
Matenia: The conversation flowed really easily, there were no real awkward moments.
Cody: Transitions between felt really natural and I really feel like we connected as friends!
Matenia: It really felt like I had known him for a while.
Cody: I joked, "What if we saw each other last night and didn't realize it?"
While we’re here, did they have any other things in common besides dancing within the EDM/electronic music scene?
Matenia: Honestly quite a few.
Cody: We had huge emo/pop punk phases as teenagers.
Matenia: We both have the same rising and Venus placements.
Turns out they’re both Cancer risings and have Aries Venuses as well?
Cody: SCARRYYYYY…There was this "OMG" moment and I felt like that really solidified our connection.
Matenia: When we started talking about astrology and existentialism, that's when things got kind of crazy!
Cody: We're both looking to be more mindful in our everyday lives and are searching for meaning and purpose in this strange time we're living in.
Matenia: Finding importance in being present.
Cody: I had this aha-moment of like, ohhhh we were definitely supposed to meet and connect.
Matenia: I really appreciate Cody's outlook. Since meeting him, I genuinely try to stop and remember to be present (I think it's also because I've been listening to his podcast recommendations).
Cody: It still blows my mind how much we had in common despite being from completely different walks of life.
Matenia: We have lots of similar interests- photography, movies.
Cody: I felt like I was meeting an oomf from Twitter or Tumblr.
Matenia: It was truly such a special experience, I was so happy to be there and be a part of it and meet Cody!
Cody: Kinda felt like I was fulfilling an inner child (or teenager) moment there.
This practically wrote itself! I wonder where Cody and Matenia will head next.
Cody: We’re texting- Matenia is considering going to EZoo and I told her she is more than welcome to tag along with me and my friends!
Matenia: TBD! We’re texting about future plans.
Glad a little drizzle didn’t dampen this connection.
Cody: We didn't end up eating the potato chips. Conversation was too good.
Want to make a new friend? Submit yourself here!
Wondering something? Email ithinkyoutwoshouldmeet@gmail.com